totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
