from now on my penis is your penis
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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