I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
