Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
