I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
