You're a womanizer and a bitch.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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