i jhust puked up my retainher.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
