Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
