It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
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