STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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