You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
