I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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