David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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