Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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