Hey man sorry I got all grabby
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
