Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
