This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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