i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
