Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
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Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
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Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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