So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
