dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
what day is it and did you see me today?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
