Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
