I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
