My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
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Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize