Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
