Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I am in a vortex of obligation.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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