think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
