we're chasing vodka with high fives
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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