I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
