And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
