I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Randomize
