Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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