K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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