plz talk dirty to me
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
