It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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