How'd it feel making her break her religion?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
