Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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