I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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