There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
