I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
