Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
