This house was built for laser tag.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
