What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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