you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
