You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
