my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
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If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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