I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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