Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
