my room smells like sperm. sweet.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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