I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
