Have you finally orgasmed yet?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
