hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
