what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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