im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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