woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize