get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
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My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
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Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I can't turn off my feet"
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
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