i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i came on her dog
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
