I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
