i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
