What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
